THIS is what they're reduced to?
But I've got to tell you: even my unbridled pessimism has its limits when I see the sorts of drivel the GOP and its shills have been reduced to lately.
At this point, they're literally groveling and begging for support they know they don't deserve.
In a hilarious column today, Jonah Goldberg says that we should just Give Bush a Break:
Lord knows I have my problems with President Bush. He taps the federal coffers like a monkey smacking the bar for another cocaine pellet in an addiction study. Some of his sentences give me the same sensation as falling backward in one of those "trust" exercises, in which you just have to hope things work out. Yes, the Iraq invasion has gone badly, and to deny this is to suggest that Bush meant for things to turn out this way, which is even crueler than saying he failed to get it right.
In other words, Jonah knows that Bush's head is squarely up his rectum. All Jonah has here is 1) that Bush isn't Republican enough; 2) that one just has to have "faith" in Dilbert's Pointy-Haired Boss; and 3) that we're all a bunch of meanies for suggesting that Bush is malicious, rather than merely incompetent.
But do keep in mind that this is the start of his pro-Bush column.
But you know what? It's time to cut the guy some slack.
If this were The Onion, I would be laughing out loud. Unfortunately, it's not.
Of course, I will get hippo-choking amounts of e-mail from Bush-haters telling me that all I ever do is cut Bush slack. But these folks grade on the curve. By their standards, anything short of demanding that a half-starved badger be sewn into his belly flunks.
Jonah, that would be too nice for Cheney. I think a hamster would be more apt for Bush.
Jonah then spews some tripe about Bush-bashers and the Plame/Armitage affair--nicely debunked by emptywheel--before continuing:
And then there's Hurricane Katrina. Yes, the federal government could have responded better. And of course there were real tragedies involved in that disaster. But you know what? Bad stuff happens during disasters, which is why we don't call them tickle-parties.
"Hey, c'mon! Katrina wasn't exactly a tickle-party! This is hard work!"
Again, this does NOT come from The Onion. The man actually said this. What is it about Republicans that they INSIST on minimizing tragedies and dissasters--unless they can be exploited for cynical political gain? What kind of American do they think is going to buy this bullshit?
The anti-Bush chorus, including enormous segments of the mainstream media, sees Katrina as nothing more than a good stick for beating on Piñata Bush's "competence." The hypocrisy is astounding because the media did such an abysmal job covering the reality of New Orleans (contrary to reports, there were no bands of rapists, no disproportionate deaths of poor blacks, nothing close to 10,000 dead, etc.).
Step one: invent racist and malicious stories about black people to minimize the horror of the government response.
Step two: feed these stories to media.
Step three: blame the media for telling racist stories that you promoted.
Step four: Use this to say the media overblew BUSH's incompetence.
What the Fuck? Again, is there ANY American who is really going to buy the bridge he is selling?
The Mississippi coast was hit harder by Katrina than New Orleans was. And although New Orleans' levee failure was a unique problem - one the local leadership ignored for decades - the devastation in Mississippi was in many respects more severe. And you know what? Mississippi has the same federal government as Louisiana, and reconstruction there is going gangbusters while, after more than $120 billion in federal spending, New Orleans remains a basket case. Here's a wacky idea: Maybe it's not all Bush's fault.
Actually, Jonah, try this for a wacky idea: New Orleans is a major city whose residents won't vote for a Republican again in their natural lives. The Mississippi coast is far smaller and generally more rural and Republican area that includes Trent Lott's porch. It couldn't have anything to due with incompetence and political cronyism, could it?
But you knew that already. So does most of America, dimwit.
I mean, this is what they're reduced to?
Then, of course, there's the war on terror. Democrats love to note that Bush hasn't caught Osama bin Laden yet, as if this is the most vital metric for success....But even nicer than catching bin Laden is not having thousands of dead Americans in New York, Washington and L.A. Contrary to all expert predictions...
Reporter: Sargeant, have you caught the serial killer yet?
Sargeant: No. I'm not that concerned about him.
Sargeant: As if that's the measure of success! Have any more people been killed???
Go read the whole thing. It's amazing.
If this is what they've been reduced to, victory is ours.
Seriously. And take that from an avowed pessimist.