Thursday, August 31, 2006

Now CONDI embarrasses herself before the American Legion

This is unbelievable, sheer insanity now.

Just two days after Donald Rumsfeld decided to excoriate the United States of America in front of the American Legion, Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice ALSO decided to embarrass herself with yet another speech to the American Legion.

While Rumsfeld's speech could only have appealed to people who hate America and find brown shirts vaguely attractive, Condi's address could only appeal to those with the attention span of a gnat, and the intellect to boot.

But they appear to be written to work together--good cop and bad cop, says this could only be described as a sinister version of a Laurel & Hardy film called "Nazi Cop, Dumb Cop."

The transcript of the speech can be found at the Secretary of State's website--and it's a scary one as well.

I'm especially reminded of America's resolve in times of adversity, as we come upon the fifth anniversary of September the 11th. That day, America encountered the darker nature of our world, and our nation's course was profoundly altered.

Yes.  That's true.  You know that seemingly genial, kinda slow-witted guy who seemed like a good beer-buddy when 49% of Americans voted for him for president?  Turns out he's an aggressively belligerent dry-drunk sociopath with a theocratic megalomania complex and a gift for corporate cronyism.

Who knew?  The world's nature is dark indeed.

Consider the progress we have made: Five years ago, the members of al-Qaida were largely free to operate, to organize, to travel, to move money, to communicate with each other, and to plan attacks to murder innocent people. Today, however, five years later, America is leading a great coalition of countries in the fight against terrorists.

You know, when I think about the truly GREAT countries of the world, Britain, Poland and Costa Rica are the first ones that come to mind.  Absolutely.  I'm sure that most Americans would agree.

Together, we are seizing their money. We're closing their sanctuaries.

Sanctuaries like...Pakistan.  Have you seen the sheer number of troops we have in Waziristan right now?  Why, the number must be in the high two-figures!  The Taliban that originated in Pakistan, the terrorist network that the British liquid explosives guys went to in Pakistan--all being scoured as we speak by...umm....well, never mind.

We're hunting their cells. We're killing and capturing their leaders.

Lemme see about this.  Osama bin Laden?  Alive.  Ayman al-Zawahiri, his #2?  Alive.  Al-Zarqawi?  Dead--after three years.  The general Al-Qaeda network? Stronger, by all accounts, than it used to be.

Heckuva job, Condi!

Because we've gone on the offense, America is safer, but we are not yet safe, as we've seen just recently with the foiled terror plot in London.

Gee, ya think?  Two years later: "Because we've gone on the offense in bombing Tehran, America is safer--but we are not yet safe, as we've seen just recently with the spate of Iranian suicide bombings in Starbucks all across America.  As long as Republicans remain at the helm, you can trust that America will take the fight to its enemies.

By the way, Syria?  You're next.  Bring 'em on!"

We know that every day, each and every day, violent extremists are plotting new ways to do us harm.

That's true: President Bush himself said that he is always thinking of new ways to harm our country.  I know I'm scared of these violent extremists in the White House--I think most Americans are, too.

Today, five years after the attack on our nation, people still differ about what September 11th called us to do. On the one hand, if you focus only on the attacks themselves and believe that they were caused by 19 hijackers supported by a network called al-Qaida, operating from a failed state, Afghanistan, then the response can be limited.

Condi, on the other hand, believes that it was actually a Balrog of Morgoth from Transylvania who attacked us.  We, on the other hand, believe that 19 Saudi terrorists training in Afghanistan attacked us because we happen in live in a little place called reality.

But if you believe, as I do, and as President Bush does, that the root cause of September 11th was the violent expression of a global extremist ideology, an ideology that thrives on the oppression and despair of the Middle East, then we must seek to remove this source of terror by helping the people of that troubled region to transform their countries and to transform their lives.

Do you mean the sort of oppression and despair fostered by our Saudi allies?  The dictatorship of our Pakistani allies?  The bloody dictatorship of our Uzbek ally?

Meanwhile, I do agree with Condi on one point: bunker-buster bombs do wonders for transforming lives and the landscapes of troubled regions.  What greater transformation is there than "here today, gone tomorrow?"

The dream of some, that we could avoid this conflict, that we did not have to take sides in this battle in the Middle East...

What is she talking about?  Who is she talking about?  I'd like her to show me the American who thinks that we shouldn't have dismantled Al-Qaeda and killed Osama Bin Laden.  Where is that American, Condi?  We're angry because you HAVEN'T done those things, dimwit.

Under President Bush's leadership, the United States is now standing shoulder to shoulder with moderate men and women all across the Middle East.

That's good, because you certainly aren't standing with moderate men at home.

Five years ago, who could have imagined that a vibrant debate about democratic reform and economic reform and social reform would be raging in every country of the Broader Middle East, a debate not about whether to proceed with reform, but how to proceed? Who could have imagined the positive changes we have already witnessed in places as different as Egypt and Saudi Arabia, and Kuwait and Morocco, and Jordan? Sure, there have been many setbacks and step backs in each of these cases, but the steps forward are also taking place.

"Who could have imagined?"  She didn't just say that again, did she?  Seems to be an incredible failure of imagination by this White House, no?

And Earth to Condi: I think there have been more setbacks than steps forward.  Just possibly.

And who could have imagined that the people of Lebanon would stand up by the hundreds of thousands and call for the Syrian occupation of their country to end and for a new democratic future to begin?

That's right, folks.  Lebanon is one of the greatest success stories of our times.  That's how this Administration defines success.  Didn't you know?

In Afghanistan, the Taliban is terrorizing the Afghan people and trying to stop their democratic progress.

Oh yeah, those guys.  I thought we defeated them.  Guess not.  Given that we first invaded Afghanistan five years ago, the Taliban must have greater military capabilities than the combined forces of Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan.  Tough nut to crack, those guys.

But on the other hand, there are unsettling questions. Is success possible? Is it really worth the effort? Do the Iraqi people really want to live together in peace and freedom, the peace and freedom for which our troops have sacrificed so much. Or do they desire a darker path, somehow, of violence?

Well, let me answer that for you, Condi.  Success is NOT possible--not while you are the Secretary of State.  And yes, the Iraqi people desire a darker path of violence, as long as American troops are occupying their country.

See?  That was simple.  You asked questions, and I answered them.


And there's so much more where that came from.

I encourage you all to read the whole thing.  It's an encyclopedia of inane stupidity.

Which is apparently all they've got at this point: fascism and inane stupidity.


Post a Comment

<< Home