Saturday, April 15, 2006

GOP Leaders Pledge Allegiance to the Elephant--Literally!

Remember when snark was, well, just snark?  Remember when preposterous pieces from The Onion were just jokes, instead of oracular prophecy?  Remember when jibes about taking our glorious carnival of an Iraq war to Iran were just, well, morbid humor?  Remember when jokes about Cheney being Darth Vader didn't have to take into account Dick Cheney's penchant for shooting old men in the face while intoxicated?

Well, today is just another day--and it brings yet another example of what was once unthinkable snark changing from fantasy to reality faster than a Velveteen Rabbit.

Markos has introduced the meme of Republicans flying the Elephant above the Stars and Stripes.  It is a highly effective visual image, and gut-wrenching to any true American, Republican or Democrat.  To paraphrase the immortal (and immoral) words of Condi Rice, no one could have predicted anything resembling such an act of anti-American depravity would actually take place in the real world.

Well, what happened Thursday in San Diego wasn't quite that bad.  It was worse.  They actually, literally, pledged allegiance to the banner of the Republican Party.  I shit you not.

Worst of all, however, was the perky Greta Van Susteren, Fox News bimbo style of cutesy smiles "journalism" with which it was reported.

From Diane Bell's column in the San Diego Union Tribune, cheerily entitled "A GOP heavyweight stands in for Old Glory".

As someone stood up to lead the Pledge of Allegiance at a GOP dinner here Thursday, it was suddenly realized there was no flag in the room.

Hmmmm...okay.  Well, one could always agree to face east towards Washington, D.C.  That would be a strong symbolic gesture, widely used.  Or perhaps one could face the podium or center of attention at this Republican dinner.  Or any piece of American paraphernalia.  But no...

"Pledge to the elephant!" shouted Bob Watkins of the county Board of Education.

Now, hold on a sec.  I have to let something out goes...OHMIFUCKINGGODYOUIMMORALUNPATRIOTICFUCKINGPIECESOFPUTRIDPONDSCUM!!!!  Ahhh...that felt better.  I now fully qualify to be a member of the Angry Left.  All venting aside, however, there are really two salient points that bear consideration here:

a) You mean to tell me that there was an official political dinner, replete with congress critters (as we shall see below) and big GOP banners, with no American flag--or even a modest representation of one?  Apparently, there was nothing authentically American at this GOP dinner party.  But then again, why does that not entirely surprise me...

b) Even if you have no morals or real patriotism, isn't it very simply in pathetically poor taste?  I mean, as any psychiatrist or psychotherapist knows, even the most jaded and unnervingly amoral sociopath does their very best to maintain an exterior of evenhandedness, charm, and basic fairness.  Don't they know any better?  Do they, at long last, have no shame?  No shame at all?

But we're not remotely finished...

So the audience, which included Rep. Darrell Issa, sate Senate Minority Leader Dick Ackerman, Assembly Republican Leader-Elect George Plescia and Mayor Jerry Sanders, turned toward the GOP banner and recited the pledge while facing the party's symbolic pachyderm.

Yes, that's right, boys and girls.  This was no small time dinner.  These were some of the most prominent GOP leaders in all of Southern California, gathered together en masse.  Darrell Issa is the same scumbag who initiated the recall election campaign against Gray Davis because he thought he would become governor--only to become a mess of blubber and tears appropriate to a hubristic scumbag once Arnold ran over all other GOP contenders with his Hummer-sized campaign.

And they all agreed to what essentially qualifies as sacrilege, as surely as if a Christian minister or Jewish rabbi bowed down to a golden calf in a church or temple.

 Think about it--facing the Republican elephant, place your hand over your heart and...I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United nation, indivisible...under God...  NO WAIT.  Stop.  I don't want to cause anyone convulsions and sudden apoplectic shock.

No...imagine facing the Democratic Donkey.  Try to face the Donkey and recite the pledge, and see whether or not you taste a little vomit in your mouth.  It's disgusting, no matter which side of the aisle you are on.  It's repulsive, and I can smell the stench of it from here.


Fortunately, it was a patriotic red, white and blue--with stars.

Oh, isn't that nice?  How cute!  Golly gee, boys and girls, aren't our sweet little GOP leaders so cute?  Darned kids do such silly things, but don't they mean well and don't we love them?  I mean, imagine that--pledging allegiance to the elephant!  But by golly, at least it was red, white and blue with stars.  I say we give them an A+ for effort!

Fucking repulsive.

I just want to close with a few questions for the American public:

a) Have you had enough yet?

b) Do you still think you have an excuse for voting Republican?

c) Is this really the example you want to be setting for your children?

d) Where is the outrage?

Or are you all waiting for the next sick joke to make its way into your newspaper's headlines, announced with cheery vapidity of the latest corporate media shill?


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