Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Allow Me to Define Victory

I've been watching as much Fox News and CNN as I can stand, and I can tell you this: the expectations game is being played by every GOP analyst/pundit/gasbag.


These people are trying to force Democrats to say that only gaining at least 25-30 seats in the House would be good--that anything less than 25 House seats is a "victory" for Republicans.


Similarly, they're also saying that anything short of taking the Senate outright constitutes victory--that Republicans can declare victory if they only lose 5 seats.  Even some Kossacks have fallen into the trap.


So, for the intelligence-challenged in the Republican punditry, allow me to define victory for you:


THIS IS VICTORY:


Your new Speaker of the House:


If she's Speaker by 1 seat, 5 or 10, she's still Speaker.  That's victory.


Your new Chair of the Government Reform Committee:



If he's Chair by 1 seat, 5 or 10, he's still Chair.  That's victory.


Your new House Judiciary Committee Chair:



If he's Chair by 1 seat, 5 or 10, he's still Chair.  That's victory.


You know how you can tell it's victory?  I'll tell you: by the shaking legs and urine dripping down the pants of GOP operatives who see those pictures with those titles.


And as for the Senate?  ANY of the following constitutes victory:


Your new possible Senators:









Let me repeat that: EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THESE NEW SENATORS IS A VICTORY.


Because Burns (if he loses) won't be able to insult firefighters anymore; because Santorum (when he loses) won't be able to have man-on-dog sex anymore; because Chafee (if he loses) won't be able to keep enabling policies he supposedly doesn't like; because Corker (if he loses) won't be able to screw up as a senator as badly as he did as mayor; because Talent (if he loses) won't be able to rubberstamp Bush's policies anymore; because DeWine won't be able to abet the most corrupt administration and state party in history; because Allen (if he loses) won't be able to be, well, George (insert expletive here) Allen.


All of these are victory.


You want to know what a decisive landslide looks like?  THAT would be this:




Senate Majority Leader


---------------------------------------------------


So don't let them play the expectations game on you.  Understand what victory looks like.  Remember what it looks like.


Because the GOP is going to declare victory no matter what happens--even as they pull as many of their sorry carcasses off the battlefield as they can manage.


Don't let them.  If these shadowy images of glory that you see here tranform into brilliant reality, do the only appropriate thing: Gloat.  Gloat big time.


Because the GOP will be running scared--big time.



[Update: I understand that true victory lies far, far ahead of us. A battle for the presidency looms, the struggle for the heart of the Democratic Party will be ongoing, and we won't go far without taking K-Street money out of elections. But here, I'm talking about Victory in THIS battle fought today. And that's all that matters TODAY.]

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